Teaching on surrender
You learn to live again wet, dependent, and not in control.
RR
Richard Rohr

Embracing the Waters of Surrender

In Richard Rohr's poignant assertion, "You learn to live again — wet, dependent, and not in control," we are invited to confront the profound reality of our existence. This quote encapsulates the essence of surrender, a theme that resonates deeply within the human experience. It speaks to the necessity of relinquishing our illusions of control and embracing a state of vulnerability, where we can truly learn to live anew. The stakes are high; in a world that often prizes autonomy and self-sufficiency, this invitation to dependency can feel both daunting and liberating.

Rohr's words challenge us to reconsider our relationship with life itself. To be "wet" suggests immersion in the fluidity of existence, a state where we are not merely passive observers but active participants in the unfolding of our lives. This dependency is not a weakness but a recognition of our interconnectedness with the universe and those around us. It is a call to embrace the uncertainty of life, to find strength in our vulnerability, and to discover the richness that comes from surrendering to the flow of existence.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery of being "wet" evokes a visceral sense of being enveloped by water, a substance that is both nurturing and overwhelming. Water, in its essence, symbolizes life, fluidity, and transformation. To be "dependent" suggests a relinquishing of the self-imposed barriers that often isolate us from others and from the divine. The phrase "not in control" starkly contrasts with the societal narrative that champions autonomy and mastery over one's circumstances. In this metaphor, we are reminded that true living requires us to embrace the uncertainty and unpredictability that life presents.

Diving deeper into this metaphor, we can see that water also represents the depths of our emotions and the complexities of our inner lives. Just as water can be calm or turbulent, our experiences can range from serene acceptance to chaotic upheaval. The act of surrendering to this flow allows us to navigate the ebbs and flows of our existence with grace. In this way, being "wet" becomes a symbol of our willingness to engage with life authentically, to feel deeply, and to connect with the world around us without the armor of control.

In the speaker's tradition

Richard Rohr's insights are deeply rooted in the contemplative Christian tradition, which emphasizes the importance of surrender and dependency on the divine. Concepts such as kenosis, the self-emptying of one's will, resonate profoundly with Rohr's message. This idea parallels the Buddhist notion of sunyata, or emptiness, which invites practitioners to let go of attachments and preconceived notions of self. Both traditions highlight the transformative power of surrendering to a greater reality, allowing us to experience life in its fullness.

In his work, Rohr often references the mystics, who understood that true wisdom arises from a place of humility and openness. The writings of St. John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila echo this sentiment, emphasizing the necessity of surrendering the ego to experience divine union. Rohr's teachings remind us that by embracing our dependency, we align ourselves with a deeper spiritual truth that transcends the limitations of our individual selves, inviting us into a more profound relationship with the divine and with one another.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching can be applied: a person facing a significant life transition, such as a job loss or the end of a relationship. In such moments, the instinct may be to grasp for control, to seek certainty in an uncertain world. However, embracing the teaching of Rohr invites this individual to acknowledge their vulnerability and to lean into the discomfort of the unknown. By surrendering to the process, they may discover new opportunities for growth and connection that would have remained hidden had they clung to their need for control.

Another application of this teaching can be found in the realm of relationships. Imagine a couple navigating a difficult period, where misunderstandings and conflicts arise. Instead of attempting to assert control over the situation or to "fix" one another, Rohr's wisdom encourages them to embrace their dependency on each other. By acknowledging their shared vulnerability and the need for open communication, they can foster a deeper connection that transcends the superficial desire for control. This practice of surrendering to one another can lead to a more profound understanding and intimacy, allowing both partners to grow together.

A reflection

As we contemplate Rohr's invitation to live "wet, dependent, and not in control," we are called to reflect on our own lives. What areas do we cling to control, and how might surrendering to the flow of life open us to new possibilities? In what ways can we embrace our vulnerability as a source of strength rather than a weakness? These questions invite us to engage with our experiences more deeply, allowing the waters of life to wash over us and reveal the beauty that lies in surrender.

RR
AuthorRichard Rohr

Wisdom from Richard Rohr.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Rohr's phrase encapsulates the essence of surrendering to life's uncertainties. It suggests that true living involves embracing vulnerability and recognizing our interconnectedness with the world, rather than clinging to the illusion of control.
You can apply this teaching by consciously letting go of the need to control outcomes in your life. This might involve accepting situations as they are, being open to change, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in relationships.
Yes, the themes of surrender and dependency are prevalent in the writings of Christian mystics like St. John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, who emphasize the importance of self-emptying and openness to divine grace.
Kenosis refers specifically to the self-emptying of one's will, often in relation to divine will, while surrender encompasses a broader acceptance of life's uncertainties and the relinquishing of control in various aspects of life.
Practices such as mindfulness meditation, contemplative prayer, or journaling can support living this teaching by helping you cultivate awareness of your thoughts and feelings, fostering a deeper acceptance of life's unpredictability.
In difficult relationships, embracing dependency means acknowledging your vulnerability and being open to honest communication. This can create a space for deeper understanding and connection, rather than trying to control or fix the other person.

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